Not quite as fancy as they make it seem…

Have you seen the article that claims that cheese is as addictive as hard drugs? If you’ve ever seen my family eat a cheese plate, there would be absolutely no disputing it. Its quite disgusting actually.  If you only knew what I had to go through to keep the vultures away in order to photograph this, you’d laugh.

So here is the big secret that fancy restaurants don’t want you to know… Making a cheese board is ridiculously easy! Truly. It takes a little bit of planning ahead and a little bit of creativity.  When I make a cheese board I follow these rules:

1. Cheese. I use 3-4 types of cheese. Both Trader Joe’s & Costco have very reasonably priced cheese selections and a lot of non-cow’s milk cheese. (I generally avoid cows milk, but I do make certain occasional exceptions for cheese) You need a variety of textures. One hard cheese, one triple creme cheese and one flavored cheese.  I love St. Andre, it is my exception. I also generally reach for a goats milk gouda and a druken goat (goats cheese soaked in merlot).
2. Balance the saltiness of the cheese with some sweet accompaniments. This is where I get really creative.  Try an interesting jam or honey. Keep your eyes open at the farmers market or specialty shops, you may see something interesting. I tend to gravitate towards fig, but in this instance I found an elderberry jam which was special and did the job really well. Occasionally I’ll make a balsamic reduction and use that instead.
3. Fruit.  The marriage of fruit and cheese is classic.  Thinly sliced apples, pears or fresh grapes are my goto.  In fact, if I don’t have good gluten free crackers I use the slices of apple or pear instead of crackers.Dried fruit is nice here too.  Its kind of a blend of the jam and fruit.  On this tray I used medjool dates.
4. Umami – Umami is that 5th flavor category that foodie types use to define an undescribable  “meaty” flavor.  On this cheese board I used prosciutto, in the past, I’ve used olives, and truffled almond (from Trader Joe’s).
5. Crackers.  The crackers are vehicle for getting all of this deliciousness into your mouth, and an opportunity to add a little extra something.  When I first went gluten free, I was sure I’d be missing out on this delicious delivery system. I will save you a lot of work.  Most gf crackers are meh – at best.  But I found one that is worth the hefty $5/box price tag. They are called Absolutely Gluten Free are they are perfect. I tried making my own, and they are lovely, but require planning.  These fit the bill.  Diamond Nut Thins are good too, and will work in a pinch.

The magic happens when you put these all components together.  Allow the cheese to sit out for 20-30 minutes before assembling. It takes all of 5-10 minutes to pull everything out and arrange it on a plate and your company will ooh and ahh as if you just presented them with a flaming soufflé and then proceed to attack it with the restraint of a hungry puppy.